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On I am interviewed on the ways we use our fantasies. I've talked about the importance of a fantasy life for most women in the free webinar I offer you on this site. Often fantasy is very relaxing and enriching. But at times it can be a problem. For example, focusing on the past and exaggerating old memories, whether making them much better or much worse than the events actually were, may not be healthy. The easiest example I can think of is so enjoying old memories about a boyfriend you had years ago, that you don't focus in the present on enjoying your husband or significant other now. Believe, this does happen. Absence really can make the heart grown fonder!

On the other hand, many people begin to exaggerate a negative memory and build stories around that memory. For instance, Ruth remembered how her brother-in-law forgot to send an anniversary card or even call on Jim and Ruth's 25th wedding anniversary. She was hurt. That was two years ago, but as she has mulled over about his forgetfulness it has turned in her mind to indifference and a total lack of respect for them as a couple. She finds herself getting more and more angry at him and also more hurt. This type of fantasy distortion is not useful in any way.

So it is very important to understand how we use fantasy and to make sure we use our daydreaming and ruminating for good mental health purposes! Please watch my video now on fantasy to learn more!